Isn't creativity great?

It's sometimes too easy to forget why you create what you do, why you spend so many hours doing it, trying to get things right. It would be no lie to say that over the last couple of years, I've felt a real tension between having always been creative, and, on the other hand, a reluctance to commit to doing anything. Partly its been time and energy (though I always found it in the past), and partly a genuine sense that I didn't know what I was doing it for anymore (dreams of fame and fortune, if I ever had them had long gone, and the "peer group" that had probably sustained me for a good few years, was looking a little thin on the ground). But also, its partly about what I've been creating. I've always enjoyed writing fiction, and endured writing poetry - the first requiring a different mindset than the latter - even if I take a lot of satisfaction from having continued to do both. I also think I'm a better fiction writer, though, it has to be said, without much evidence either way of late. So last year I finished the first draft of a novella, and wrote a couple of very strong stories, all of which I'm proud of; and collected another group of poems that I'm still wrestling with - uncertain about. But I don't think any of this could be classed as "fun." From when I was about 16 - for at least a decade - my main creative outlet was musical, and recently after a couple of years of doing nothing at all in this area, I decided to have another go. So the last month, any chance I've had, I've set up the new 8-track and started writing/recording a song. The 4 songs I've recorded are all very different, (though not necessarily that different from what I always used to record!), and more than that, I've really enjoyed writing them, singing them, listening to them, and now, putting them on a CD. It's so much fun! Versions of all 4 songs are now on my Myspace, if you're at all interested in this other persona. And it is a persona - since I think what I bring to songwriting is a sense of character, a sense of drama. I'm not trying to write generic songs for James Blunt, but create a little self-contained world in music, similar to what I would do in a story. Got to go, I've got some more recording to do!